Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
