pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
