I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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