Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
