I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
