Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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