Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
the liver wants what the liver wants
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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