Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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