oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize