If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
