I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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