Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize