youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I think my moral compass just broke
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
