i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
