Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
