Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
