Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
