I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
