i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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