i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
