right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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