It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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