we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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