So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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