do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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