Can Purell be used as lube?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
