roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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