my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
