Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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