he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
