As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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