At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
