walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
