i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
