Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
