good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
There r osticjed everywhere
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
