I hate all girls vehemently.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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