She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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