you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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