Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
