its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize