my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
