the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
