don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize