After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize