so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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