New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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