just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
