She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
