I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
