I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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