the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize