But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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