He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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