You're earring is so big in my mouth
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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